So I am at the last lap of getting my updated medical biography finished. I had to add about 5,000 words so far with descriptions of what I endured during those times of first diagnosis and treatment phases. These descriptions included the hospital, the nurses, what kind of side-effects I had with each chemotherapy drug, and how I felt during much of it.
Most of my emotions were numbness or sheer terror. I would prefer the numbness because I was able to go through each torture with equanimity. It is not easy or desirable to be a patient even in these enlightened times.
Of course reading, writing, and editing this manuscript has stirred up some feelings I had when I was very ill. If there is one thing I want to accomplish by writing this and re-writing this manuscript now is to give courage to other patients who are now going through this same process. Secondary accomplishment would be to put non-patients and caretakers into the mind of a patient as she navigates the process of getting well.
Thirdly, to let those around the patient know that even though a patient is proclaimed well, it doesn’t mean that the patient won’t have other problems caused by the medication or even the suppressed immune system. Even though I am stabilized, I still have to take a maintenance chemotherapy drug to keep in remission. It also means that I cannot go into large venues around large groups of people. I can get infections and infectious diseases easily even now.
And wellness? It is relative — ask any older person who is dealing with aches and pains.
When I finish the re-write, I will get this one back on Amazon, B&N, and Smashwords. I will also re-do the Trade Paperback.
So stay well– and live long.