Last night I dreamed.
I am a dreamer. I have dreamed various scenes of my own life months before they happened. I do know that my dreams were trying to prepare me for my late-hubby’s death. As if I could have been prepared for losing my best friend and mate.
The only time I quit dreaming was when my life was in the balance in 2003. I didn’t dream for months before I ended up in the hospital.
So last night I dreamed.
This time he wasn’t there. He has been in my dreams or in my peripheral dreams since I met him in 1988. I even dreamed of him long before I met him at the age of sixteen. In my dreams we were having adventures. This time, this dream, I was with long-time friends. We were shooting, laughing, talking, and eating. This time I didn’t look around for him.
I woke up knowing that eventually, my life would go on without him. I cried.
Yesterday, I went to the Veteran’s Memorial Cemetery in Boulder City, Nevada. His stone had finally been carved. His message was there – “I’ll Rest When I’m Dead.”
Rest in Peace, Otto. You have earned it.