I know it is still November and it is time to prepare for Thanksgiving, but this year I want to see lights.
It has been over four years since I lost my late-hubby, Otto Tune, and for the first time in four years colors came back into my life. To be fair when a person goes through grief, depression is part of the process. In my case I couldn’t see colors. It was like the world was shades of gray.
Oh I saw color– I just didn’t see it, if you can make the distinction. That first six months to a year I would look at the birds and wonder why they still sang. The world had ended.
This year I have been noticing how the sun casts pink and orange across the clouds as it says good night. I’ve noticed the different greens in the trees, bushes, and grasses.
It was the same with music. For the first few years every song was a song of loss. Now every song wraps me in sound. I now know depression intimately.
I tend toward anxiety than to depression.
So this year I want lights. The apartment building where I live decided to paint the outside of our building. This has been a great inconvenience because my patio furniture (I gave that to myself as a present last year) had to stay in my house. I promised myself that as soon as painting was done and the patio furniture was outside, then I would set up my tree.
I found a cheap tree on Ebay. When I pulled it out of the box I was a little disappointed. It did look scraggly. When I pulled the branches apart– wire and pvc– I began to see a much fuller tree. So this dark green artificial tree is in the living room where the patio furniture had been.
Even though it is more than two weeks from Thanksgiving, I am going to cover the tree in lights. Each light is a wish and a prayer. I hope that this year will be brighter than the last. I hope that I can pay my bills. I hope even more that I can be happy and maybe experience joy.
Now for a little promotion
Hero of Corsindor is now on Amazon kindle for pre-order.
In the kingdom of Corsindor, the prince is lost, the king is dead, and the queen is holding the reins of government against disloyal nobles. They want a puppet to consolidate their power over the land. The queen has only one ally, who is not human.
There are rumors that the borders have been closed. Plus the long-lost prince, who knows nothing of ruling, is returning. Corsindor is being attacked from within and without by nightstalkers.
Shira, a foundling, trained by the Ahrah, Corsindor’s neighbors, is sent find out the conditions in Corsindor. Warrior and child of another world – her job is to confront the demons and reduce the chaos in the world. Will she survive?
Will she be tempted to take it all?