I’m in the writing chair

8a5d8-chickadee-2 After a little Facebooking, I am now squarely in my writing chair. I have a cup of coffee setting in front of me. The dog is asleep in her bed next to my feet.

Thank you Doris for reminding me that I need to write. Since the surgery, I now know that I need a thyroid hormone to keep stable. I’ve learned that I am anemic. So the last week I have been eating mushrooms, liverwurst, and Vit. C. I’ve noticed an increase in my energy. It’s not as much as I would like, but I am not falling asleep as soon as I sit down.

As an early birthday and Christmas present rolled into one, I bought myself a Kindle Oasis on Prime Day. At first I wasn’t sure if this little square thing would be comfortable in my hands. It was lightweight, but sometimes lightweight means badly engineered. I am happy to say that it is more comfortable to use than any of the prior Amazon Kindles, including the fire tablets. I can read inside, outside, and upside down. I can read sitting up or lying down.

Since I got it I have been bingeing. So that is my other excuse– I needed to fill the well. With all of the sickness and the thyroid business, my creative energy has been on the low side.

I hoped that music would help. Let’s just say I jumped into another person’s monkeys and circus. It ended badly for me. I am now staying away from circuses that I don’t initiate. I have to keep learning that lesson.

One thing that I noticed is that when I go towards anything other than writing, I head for another disaster. Since music was what led me to the last one, I now know that I need to keep that side of me satisfied. I have decided to start back with the community choir at the end of August. It will keep me pretty busy and I will have that performing need itched as well. This choir does performances twice a year.

Plus I will write. I am back to business again today. Time for me to make goals again… and to structure my day. I work better when I have some structure.

I noticed this with poetry when I was working in that medium. When I worked in structure, the poems would shine. It took a lot more work to shine outside a structure. So if I structure my time, it will allows my mind the freedom to soar.

Also, I will have to cut my social some. I am really enjoying being around certain people here. But, the more I socialize, the less I write. I wish I knew how to balance better.

Anyway– since I am finished with my “true confessions,” I am going to work on “She Called It, Wolf,” and very soon I will send it off to my reader.

Raise a glass of cheer

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CC0 Public Domain  Pixabay LunaSeaArt

Even with two to three appointments weekly, I have been able to finish a book that has been in the works for a year. Last year I had made a goal to write four books. I wanted to publish all four in the same year, but I got sidetracked.

But, this is no time for excuses. It is a time to be happy that once again, I have been able to finish a novel and despite my illness, I have been able to write coherently. So today I am celebrating the finish.

There will be other goal posts and other finishes. I started on the third book in the Hilda’s Inn series. I have one book in edit for EJ Hunter, plus I am re-editing She Called It, Wolf. Also there is third in that series that came to me in a dream. So I keep writing.

I counted the novels I have finished since 2010–seven novels and approximately eight novellas and short stories. It’s been an interesting run. I can see the difference in my writing from the first one “Shira, Hero of Corsindor” to the present one “Dragon Boy.” I am sure that I could stretch more in my writing skills as I continue.

So where do I get my ideas? I don’t know. I just look in a direction and try to understand the character. Then I try to write the motivations and actions to the best of my ability. I have taken writing classes. Dean W. Rusch actually gave me the most practical instructions in how to make my writing more real.

I sincerely hope that reading will stay. That imagination will never go out of style.

* * *

Here is my spiel for Dragon Boy:

dragonboy2016So who or what is Davi Dracson?

If you’re down on your luck, come to Hilda’s Inn for a game of dice and cheap ale. The hundred-year-stew has been stewing for a hundred years and the fire never burns out.

Except Hilda’s Inn is under new management, and Hilda is on the run with Davi, a dragonling. There will be dwarfs, ogres, dragons, and magical trinkets between Delhaven and Koenigstadt, the king’s city.

Don’t forget that the woods are not a safe place–the Draugr is lurking and
hungry. And, he has a taste for magic.

 

A wander through my mind

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CC0 Public Domain. DasWortgewand

Paper, thoughts, and little strips of memories are strewn over all available flat surfaces in my writing room. On one table, I have the bits and pieces of material for sewing. For the first time in two months, I have had time to let my mind wander. Who am I? Why am I here? What am I doing in this tiny apartment with a little black dog for a companion?

When I was twelve almost thirteen one of my mother’s great uncles died, leaving her a library full of original books that ranged from classics to pulp fiction. I was introduced to Isaac Asimov and Robert Heinlein. I read stories of men and even women who ventured into outer space and explored worlds. This taste of the fantastic led me to Andre Norton and her Witch Worlds.

In my deepest memories and emotions, I wanted to travel. I wanted to see new worlds and I wanted to see planets who had double suns or double moons. Even with these ambitions, my life kept coming back to the world– the one everyone else had created. When I found out that only NASA (and the Russians) had space programs, I wanted to be a part of it. Of course, it didn’t work out that way. I had neither the money nor status to get an education. No one was interested in educating a white woman whose public education only extended to the seventh grade.

Still I had hoped that we had walked on the moon, so our governments couldn’t put that genie in the bottle. But they did. When I turned 40, I lost hope– and became very ill. For years I was out of my mind from the meds and the disease. Thank god, for my late-hubby who was my caretaker and my support.

I had to turn my ambitions to something else. I started to write. My only hope was that I could populate the world with my ambitions to travel and see new things. My hope was that I could find new worlds in my imagination. Ironically, I wrote fantasy better than sci-fi.

So my dark secret? I envy you– there are at least two private companies making space craft and are looking to the stars. There are probably more that are planning to make the attempt. It is sad that our country has to use Russia for transportation to the Space shuttle.

So ask yourself– Why are we still earthbound?

Here comes the sun

DSC00632 It has been a wild ride this last month. This weekend my brother and nephews (a few honorary nephews) helped move the last of my stuff into my new apartment. This includes my tables, chairs and recliner. I have boxes above my eyeballs in the living room and gradually I will be opening them and putting them away.

I thought I had gotten rid of a lot of stuff, but obviously I have more than I expected. So I will continue to wean until I get down to one-person land again. I still miss Otto and always will.

Foxy is settling in. She is having to share her doggy land with other chihuahuas. I was told that there is a doggy park just down the road. When I am more settled, I’ll take her there. It was great to see an almost 80 year old man, walking with a walker, and a dog walking by his side. Almost everyone here has a support dog.

I want to mention the help and encouragement I received to get through all of this trauma that seemed to be following me around this month. I had some friends who would take me away from the stress and either feed me or take me to the movies. These breaks really helped me to refocus on what I needed to do next.

Also I want to thank my brother who supported me all the way especially when I needed to get the heavy stuff moved. Almost everything is too heavy for me to lift anymore.

To Jolie who contacted me and offered to help with the cleaning. I couldn’t have finished all of that yesterday without her help. She also showed me that the cleaning I had been doing as I packed actually made the last of the cleaning easier to do. In my mind it was a monster and she reduced it to a mouse.

So I still have a lot to do with unpacking. I am stiff and sore today so I think I will take a break from it. I am setting up my writing room again. I feel like I’m home.

It’s been a month

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Pixabay Amber Avalona (Public Domain) https://pixabay.com/en/users/AmberAvalona-1512238/

I’ll start with an apology. I can’t believe that it has been this long since I have pontificated on health, writing, and/or my dog. It’s been a wild ride lately. Near the end of my day, I get a low-grade fever and then in the morning, I am fine again.

I have been doing QiGong, a moving meditation, for centering. In many ways it is reminiscent of the first time my kidneys failed, except the pain is not as great and I am more hydrated. In other ways, I am not quite sure if I am imagining symptoms.

When I was first ill in 2003, my symptoms were so over the top that Otto and I knew that something was very very wrong. It’s not so clear-cut today. As a good friend said to me this weekend, “You knew it would happen.”

Yes, I am not sad that I can see the slide. I am ready for it. I just wanted to do so much more before I was too sick and too tired to continue.

But I procrastinate.

Dragon Boy is 80 percent edited and will be ready for readers soon. (Second in the Hilda’s Inn series). I have the second in the EJ Hunter series done except for the first edit. I have a lot of other books on the burner, waiting for me to put my butt in the chair and write.

Plus I have been reading about remote viewing, aliens, and hominids. I can just see one of my future stories with a Bigfoot remote viewing aliens and trying to get the message out to normal folks. Would a Bigfoot have to shave to fit in with our society? Damn, there is enough tall people nowadays that they could probably even get a job. Obviously my muse is chewing on this one right now.

What has been helping me as I watch my health slide is QiGong. I feel the energy in my hands, torso, and feet as it travels through my body. I try to breath as one. I work on loving kindness meditation and now I have people tell me that it is lovely to see me smile again.

So–

May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be safe.
May you be at ease.

 

Between the health issues

So if you have been on Facebook with me, you know that I have had a very sick little dog. This is the second time (a year apart) that she has had pancreatitis. This time I was very careful with her food choices. Next week I will be taking her to the vet so that we can talk about some treatment plans and labs for her. I would rather know that she is heading for an attack and do some preventive medication than to get surprised again.

It seems that we won’t be using peanut butter anymore to get those crushed pills down her throat. But that will be part of the treatment plan.

For me I am still working with asthma. I have found that if I forget my allergy pills and inhaler in the evening, I will wake up startled with my sinuses closed. I have a sleep study for next week as well. So again I have been shuttling between the dog’s doctor and my doctors. It is interesting that my doctors are worried about my hearing and balance. It turns out that my inner ear and assorted bits and pieces in my head are working fine. There is possibly a disconnect between my brain and my body– I could have told them that.

So near the end of the month, they will put me on a harness and have wild ride, while I try to walk on changing terrain– apparently it’s supposed to be fun. This could lead to more physical therapy– which doesn’t bother me much. I like physical therapy. Call me strange.

Most of this stuff is interfering with my writing– of course. To compensate in a creative way, I have been playing with my food– i.e. making new meals. It seems that I feel better when I change my diet to low carb, low protein, and higher fat. I used to feel nausea in the morning– now I don’t. Food is powerful medicine.

Also been experimenting with baking soda and Epsom salts for cleaning, since the asthma reared its ugly head. Also vinegar-water mix for windows. A quick hint. If the baking soda won’t pick up from the tile or linoleum, then pour vinegar on it. This causes a chemical reaction that makes the baking soda foam, which makes it easier to clean up.

I have done some editing again. I went back to re-edit, what I had edited. Sadly, it needed it. Also I am into the third story in the series– Hilda has to answer to the king’s mage service for being an “unlicensed sorceress.” Davi is keeping his heritage under wraps. Rooso– well he is a rogue.

Don’t be surprised if I break out in cross-stitch or even sewing. I have had a craving to sew lately. Just need a machine.

Summer days– ays–

So I haven’t had the energy

intheshadownewI see a rheumatologist every six months for my disease– Wegener’s Granulomatosis. I was first diagnosed with the disease in 2003 after a real fight, where I ended in the hospital for almost five weeks. The next year, while I was on IV Cytoxan and high dosages of prednisone was even worse. Some of my experiences are in this book that I wrote several years ago for other WG patients.

The good news is that C-ANCA is not showing up in my blood, meaning that the disease is quiet. As my rheumatologist said, “It is a very sneaky disease.” One of the things this disease did was damage both of my kidneys.

Recently, I started to have headaches and low energy. It was a gradual slide after the flu I had in February. Yesterday, I saw my nephrologist, who watches my kidney function. The creatinine levels spiked. I know that most of you do not know what that means. The kidneys have two functions: make water (or urine) and clean the blood. The high creatinine levels in my blood show that the kidneys are not filtering my blood well. But, you can survive on one kidney. I am surviving on less than that. When the creatinine levels spike, it can mean that my kidneys are going towards an inevitable decline.

So my inability to concentrate on my writing and the need to cuddle my dog, probably has been caused by the spike in creatinine levels.

The good news is that my levels did slide down in the last two weeks. The bad news is that I am taking more medication than ever as well as I have to be more conscious of my health.

So apologies again. I am one-third through the second draft of Dragon Boy. I hate excuses, but please forgive me.