Repost October 3, 2016: Knitting and Storytelling

dogsweater111815I tried the sweater on Foxy before I did the finishing touches (i.e. tuck the ends into the sweater. I should have sewn the sweater to the neck, but I was more worried that it would fit too snugly.

I was wrong. It fits just right except she can wiggle out of it and turn it into an off-shoulder sweater.

But for some reason she wants a sweater. I have an old one that I bought at PetSmart. Unfortunately it hasn’t lasted that long. I have knitted sweaters for myself and others that have lasted years. The one I bought is falling apart after one winter of use.

Since the world is falling apart right now, I find that knitting is relaxing. I have a dog that sits on my lap as I knit and watch “Closer” or some other TV episode on Amazon or Netflix. I am still unhappy that most of my favorite shows “Constantine” and others have been canceled. NETFLIX for the love of the fans– Please get those shows and make new episodes. I would watch.

If Netflix won’t listen to me, then AMAZON I don’t want to see a middle-aged (almost late aged) transgender. I want to see more Marvel with superheroes and great story lines. Heck, I’d even watch some of Neil Gaiman’s old graphic story lines on TV.

One of the reasons (I have a lot of reasons for writing including that if I don’t write, I’ll act out in my dreams), is that I am tired of the story lines on national TV. The mystery detective shows that I have enjoyed for a long time have been co-opted with message fiction. It seems that global warming, gamergate, or bad corporations mixed with evil returning soldiers has taken over the entertainment. Seriously I am tired of messages… since I was in the Navy from 1988-1994, I am tired of messages that denigrate our returnees, whether combat soldiers or support personnel.

It became fashionable to spit on our returnees after Vietnam. A completely alienated generation is bad for us all.

But back to what I want to see in entertainment. I want to see stories. Something that will help me escape. Something that will make me laugh and cry. Something that will make my life a little more hopeful and a little more worthwhile.

Don’t tell me I am a bad person. I know that I am the hero in my own story. And you are the hero in yours.

One of the reasons I have a problem with dystopia is because many of these stories are– it was bad, it was your fault, and now you’ll die. Huh?

So this is why I like Marvel– as bad as it gets, the hero wins. Not always big… and not always apparent. I can relate. I have small wins every day. I take a pill and my disease is pushed back another day. I walk and my muscles move another day. These small wins have added up from 2003 to the present day. I am still living.

I want to write this way, too.

 

Advertisements

As Cold as Ice

Overlooking Carson City, NV taken by Otto Tune 2014.

Overlooking Carson City, NV taken by Otto Tune 2014.

While I was cuddled with Foxy, the house chihuahua, I heard a bang, then another crash, and then the wind moaned and yelled outside.

After that huge announcement, the prince (hard and heavy rain) banged against the windows, roofs, and doors. I ignored the noise after the first peek outside the bedroom window, by watching some show about some disappearing woman. The dog had crawled under the covers during the height of the noise, and I could hear her whimper as she pushed against my knee.

This morning, the rug in my patio area was rolled up and the huge red and white ribbon on my door had blown to the ground. There were yellow leaves carpeted on my patio and the sidewalk.

Yes, there was ice. Three cars rolled over this morning on their drive to work. The morning news was full of pictures of two cars banging into a house and one rolled and landed on its roof. The front end was crunched. That car was not going to move again without help.

While the East is enjoying record highs, we just got hit with the first of our winter storms. There has been a little snow on the peaks, but not on the valley. I won’t be surprised if we have some this year.

So Happy Holiday Season. May you have joy… and not crashing this season.

Plus if the Prince of rain knocks on your doors and windows this year, don’t let him in.

Knitting and Storytelling

dogsweater111815I tried the sweater on Foxy before I did the finishing touches (i.e. tuck the ends into the sweater. I should have sewn the sweater to the neck, but I was more worried that it would fit too snugly.

I was wrong. It fits just right except she can wiggle out of it and turn it into an off-shoulder sweater.

But for some reason she wants a sweater. I have an old one that I bought at PetSmart. Unfortunately it hasn’t lasted that long. I have knitted sweaters for myself and others that have lasted years. The one I bought is falling apart after one winter of use.

Since the world is falling apart right now, I find that knitting is relaxing. I have a dog that sits on my lap as I knit and watch “Closer” or some other TV episode on Amazon or Netflix. I am still unhappy that most of my favorite shows “Constantine” and others have been canceled. NETFLIX for the love of the fans– Please get those shows and make new episodes. I would watch.

If Netflix won’t listen to me, then AMAZON I don’t want to see a middle-aged (almost late aged) transgender. I want to see more Marvel with superheroes and great story lines. Heck, I’d even watch some of Neil Gaiman’s old graphic story lines on TV.

One of the reasons (I have a lot of reasons for writing including that if I don’t write, I’ll act out in my dreams), is that I am tired of the story lines on national TV. The mystery detective shows that I have enjoyed for a long time have been co-opted with message fiction. It seems that global warming, gamergate, or bad corporations mixed with evil returning soldiers has taken over the entertainment. Seriously I am tired of messages… since I was in the Navy from 1988-1994, I am tired of messages that denigrate our returnees, whether combat soldiers or support personnel.

It became fashionable to spit on our returnees after Vietnam. A completely alienated generation is bad for us all.

But back to what I want to see in entertainment. I want to see stories. Something that will help me escape. Something that will make me laugh and cry. Something that will make my life a little more hopeful and a little more worthwhile.

Don’t tell me I am a bad person. I know that I am the hero in my own story. And you are the hero in yours.

One of the reasons I have a problem with dystopia is because many of these stories are– it was bad, it was your fault, and now you’ll die. Huh?

So this is why I like Marvel– as bad as it gets, the hero wins. Not always big… and not always apparent. I can relate. I have small wins every day. I take a pill and my disease is pushed back another day. I walk and my muscles move another day. These small wins have added up from 2003 to the present day. I am still living.

I want to write this way, too.

 

Blank Page

So I wanted today to be a good writing day. I was able to sit down and pound out 1K. I get up every hour or two to stretch my legs, drink water for my kidneys, and clear my head.

When I went to sit down to start again, I went through the I don’t wanna stage. I felt dry of ideas. I got up and looked for things to do in the house. I have paperwork that needs to be filed and shredded. I felt the I don’t wanna in my bones.

Yesterday, I did a good housecleaning– washed the floors, cleared off the tables except in my work room, and washed the dishes– etc, etc. I felt like I accomplished something.

So I guess I need a recharge day. Eat lunch first. Go for a walk, maybe. Maybe I really need a nap. This morning my stomach just didn’t want food and now I am ravenous. Dang– that is probably the problem.

When I write, I sometimes forget what my body needs. And sometimes it needs movement, sometimes food, and sometimes it just needs some quiet time.

 

My brain is sharp… as a whip?

I found a brain training program online that is like Lumosity called Brain HQ. I quit doing Lumosity because it was taking too much of my writing time. Okay, I have about two to three good hours of writing a day, which includes the blog. So my brain is the sharpest between the first cup of coffee until I get tired about 10:30 a.m. Then I do a little cross-stitch while watching Netflix.

I have a lot going against me– chemo, menopause, and aging. So when I was playing the free games on Brain HQ, I found that my baseline was 94-95 percent on attention and brain power. So if I have such good results, why do I need to play these games?

I think that writing is keeping the brain supple and flexible. Now if I could only find a magic pill that would keep up my strength.

Brain HQ would be a good idea except after the four free games, you have to “subscribe” to get a chance at the fun games “Card Sharp” in the Memory section. I think I will prove my “brain power” and not subscribe. I am not saying that these types of games are scams. Au contraire. When I was having problems with my mind and memory, I had a subscription with Lumosity. It helped me over the brain loss from taking cytoxan and other types of chemotherapy.

What chemo does to the brain is that it loosens connections. When I was in the middle of my treatment, I went through a dementia phase, where I couldn’t remember anything. Prednisone also helped with this phase. The nurses call these things “chemo-head” and “pred-head.” The brain goes fuzzy and the only function the brain seems to be able to do is to keep your autonomous functions going.

When I was trying to come out of this state, I would make strange connections like that car is following us. It would turn into a paranoid episode. Of course the car was following us because we were going the same way. But they weren’t “following” us for nefarious purposes. Everything was nefarious as my brain began to work.

My husband thought it was because my brain was trying to make connections that were so easy for it before my disease. Plus I hadn’t grieved for the loss. I went through the stages of grief as I was weaned from the prednisone and my chemo was changed to chemo with less side-effects. Still when I used Lumosity I still wasn’t thinking except in story. The games helped a lot.

So no, I won’t subscribe to this program. But, if you ever find yourself in a similar situation to mine, try out these games. They will help you come back through the labyrinth of your mind.

Laundry is piling up

So the last couple of days, I am getting the laundry done. When I write, I lose track of everything except essentials like taking my pills or eating. I know to knock off at four p.m. so I can make dinner.

I was looking around yesterday and realized that even though I was washing some clothes and keeping the hubby’s work clothes up, I had loads of clothes that needed to get done. The problem is I have to go to a Laundromat to get clothes washed. I sure wish the apartment complex allowed machines in the apartment.

I will be spending my prime writing time, getting some batches of clothes washed. Then, I will be tired so I will not be a good writing day today.

I have started a Cozy Mystery– real estate agent and the Bliss Mansion in Carson City, Nevada. I am editing my Hilda’s Inn– I quit writing at an awkward place. I will have to make a good ending so I can get to writing the second installment called the Dragon Boy or some such.

Then I am thinking about Into the Mists of Time (thanks William). It needs some ideas and work.

On the publishing front, I have been putting things up (Perchance to Dream, The Green Knight Terraforming Company, and Land of Gehenna) on Amazon.com and Smashwords. I am now looking into another indie publishing site called Draft2Digital. It looks pretty similar to the other two sites except they have a better “meatgrinder.”

So thanks for reading– I will be back.